Sunday, April 27, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
I read a post by my cousin entitled Marrying Mr. Right. I know that a lot of women wanted that “ideal” kind of married life and some are still caught up searching for their Mr. Right. Well, just want to share my thoughts and opinion about it, so read on.
I know exactly what you feel. I had been through "failed" relationships before. Yeah, that's how we would call it if it did not end up with wedding bells and a white gown! Well, now I realize it never happened because it is not meant to happen. There’s a reason behind it, there’s a reason for everything. So instead, I turned my regrets to thankfulness. I learned to be stronger, wiser, and more practical and believe me – grounded and real. We were raised in a world of fairytale. That married life should be merry and prosperous- materially, all skin deep type of happiness. I remember hearing a terrible (now I know it was terrible!) thing from somebody in the family that money and beauty (in order) are the only things that will make people happy, therefore I should look for a rich partner (ok lang if not good looking, that’s why I said “in order” above)! I know you know what I mean. You probably must have heard it too. We might not totally agree with it and take that advice but it was in our subconscious growing up and has influenced our beliefs and choices in life one way or another, without focusing on the enrichment of our moral values and sound and healthy being.
I used to have a very low self esteem before I knew who I am in Jesus. Though I was successful in covering it up with playing a role – projected a strong personality, paid so much attention on my looks, was cool, climbed up the corporate ladder in a breeze, surrounded myself with branded things --- all decorated and orderly life. Yet, when I was all alone , I still felt fed up, sad and empty. It was because I depended on other people to make me feel good about myself, to validate how good I am, how beautiful I am, how much I am wanted, how much I am needed. Otherwise, I would feel dumb and ugly and disregarded. Oftentimes when we don’t get what we wanted in life from them (our spouse, partner) i.e. good life, comfort, praises, a house perhaps, material things, or like you said “a pedestal”, we think it is so unfair to us and we feel shortchanged! Then it will lead us to thinking, “Did I marry the right person?” , “Am I in the right kind of relationship?” or “Where is my Mr. Right?.
Like you, I have also asked myself those questions. I turned to God in search for the right answers. Then it dawned on me, SELF AWARENESS is the key to ALL kinds of relationship to be successful. Knowing yourself, knowing who you are, knowing what you want in life is the key toward an Empowered Relationship. I believe that we are smarter now realizing that physical beauty and money are not the only things that matter and are not the SOURCE of genuine HAPPINESS. (There is more to life than going to school, working, paying bills, partying. There's just MORE!). The first step to SELF AWARENESS is to accept the fact that there is no such thing or person as “PERFECT” in this world, only God is. We are all created flawed and blemished therefore, what right have I got to demand myself to be perfect nor demand my spouse to be perfect? None. God is the ONLY One Who can make us Perfect and Complete. If you will continue to look for the "role" of Mr. Right in your spouse, you will never find one. And when you don’t, you will get frustrated again, you will ask the same questions, and the cycle goes on and on. Don't try to make your spouse fit into the "role" that you want him to play for you. So ask yourself this: “Am I in love with WHO my spouse is?" or Am I in love with the ROLE he plays? Then this: “What roles do I play?” What and Who do I live for?” Settle these issues within yourself first, then you will stop searching for Mr. Right.
Monday, April 21, 2008
I have been all over the new phone I got under my wireless provider's Subscriber Loyalty Program. I got it for free and am satisfied with its many features that suits my requirement. It is a Nokia 2630, simple yet very useful. I took pictures to see if the camera is working well and it surprised me getting clear pictures from the phone's VGA camera technology. This will come in handy during travels, for taking pictures when needed to be posted on my site. This is my favorite picture of the day.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
This cool green stuffed toy caught my attention when I was looking at the books and other items in our church bookstore. I saw this cuddly soft turtle for only P250.00 a few months ago so I planned to save for it, so I can buy it for my niece whose birthday is on April 26th. What has drawn me to it is that it is being sold for a cause. The proceeds will go to a Foundation for endangered turtles. I have learned to give educational, useful, meaningful and inexpensive gifts. I realized it doesn't have to be that expensive. The objective is to give something that will help in the progress of that person rather than help me "look good" myself. You know, I used to always think of my reputation when giving out gifts. I didn't want to give inexpensive, unbranded items because I didn't want to look "cheap." As they say, your choice is a reflection of who you are, which is so true. Thank God I am smarter and practical now so I am going to put it in the proper perspective: I choose to give inexpensive yet meaningful gift that will have a positive impact on the person. I will explain to my niece why I bought that stuffed toy thus, imparting care and responsibility in her young mind. Why don't you try it!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
God never ceases to amaze me! As I’ve written in my previous post, we (Gabby and I) spent our Sunday afternoon at High Street with my friends. Irene and I have been good friends. It started when we got a chance to work together in a multinational company way back in 2000. We were “partners in crime” as they put it. Closing deals left and right. We met every quota given to us and have received commendations left and right. And of course, we were well compensated with incentives and commissions.
We went back to those days and realized how crazy we were buying all those branded and luxurious jewelries, clothes, bags, etc. I retired in 2004 when I had Gabby, while she still works there and now has her own family. But today is different, we have come to the realization that nothing we desired on earth compares to Jesus. As we were sharing how our lives are touched by God, Gabby blurted out happily “Wow. A rainbow Mom. Where’s the pot of gold?” as she pointed to the sky showing us the beautiful rainbow that seemed to be just above our heads. I answered, “There it is Gabby, that itself is the treasure from God!
I said this because as I gazed at it, I remembered the covenant made by God with Noah after the land was entirely dry from the flood which lasted for over a year in the book of Genesis. Noah built an altar and took of every clean animal as burnt offerings to the Lord. The Lord smelled a scent of satisfaction to His heart then He established a covenant with Noah and with every living creature, for all future generations (that includes our generation!)- that the waters will no more become a flood to destroy the earth. He then set a rainbow in the cloud as a token or sign of this solemn covenant. And God said that whenever it appears in the clouds, He will remember this solemn pledge to mankind. And that’s the love of God for us. Our real treasure!
Monday, April 14, 2008
In one of the Empowerment Seminars I attended to, it was clearly explained and discussed how parenting can either make or break a child. Parents have a great responsibility upon their shoulders in raising a healthy, smart and emotionally complete child. Parenting is all about our child and has nothing to do with us, parents. It is not for our advantage, its for our child’s life. Therefore, we have to roll up our sleeves as parenting is work!
Spanking is one of the effective ways to discipline a child (from 0-Teens). I tried to glean as much as I could during the discussion as I know that a lot of heated up discussions and debates steam up from this topic. A lot of parents do not believe that spanking is an effective tool to discipline a child. Some say that it can cause trauma in a child. Well, it could…if it is used in a wrong way. Spanking is a TOOL, not a weapon. It does not equal to punching, pinching, hitting, slapping, kicking, pushing or pulling. Beating a child is not the same as spanking a child. The former is an act of violence specially when parental heat is added to it. It is this kind of spanking that ruins the effectivity of right spanking. No matter how you feel, ie bitter, lonely, upset, holding a grudge, heartbroken, you must drop it! Don't make spanking an outlet. Remember, parenting is not about you, it’s about the life of your child.
A child must know ahead of time what warrants spanking, what warrants bad behavior. The parent must be very clear in laying down the rules and consequences on the table if and when such rules are violated. Focus on the wrong behavior at hand, never attack the person i.e. "That behavior is not acceptable." or I don't like that behavior." This way, a child will know that it is not personal. Administer spanking right away. Your child needs to feel the “sting” of spanking. Only hit your child on those two fleshy mounds (buttocks) and not just anywhere else. After administering, talk to your child to explain how such wrong behavior affects him i.e. how lying affects his heart. Then readily forgive and tell your child how much you love him. Finally, spanking should never be followed by isolation. Your child should be brought back to whatever he was doing prior to spanking i.e. reading a book, playing with blocks, etc.
As I've said, spanking is just one of the many ways to discipline a child. Other effective tools are through education, timeout, expressing disapproval, ignoring, etc. Let's be smart, discerning parents. Use what is best for our child!
Prov 14:24: "He who spares his rod [of discipline] hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently and punishes him early." (Amp)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
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Worldwide Link Love! Participants:
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7. Liza (Philippines)
8. Geng (Philippines)
Monday, April 7, 2008
Last Sunday Gabby and I were at Bonifacio High Street with Irene and Gege and their son Miguel. They are one of my closest friends. We spent time together to catching up with one another. It’s been a while since we last did something like this. We used to be seeing each other almost every week to bring the kids to park, dine out, go out of town, swimming, go to activity centers, and a lot more. I value every relationship that I have – with my daughter, my family, my friends, co workers, even my enemies. I believe that God put them into my path for a reason. And I know that one of the reasons is meant to enrich my being. Reminding us that we need one another to survive and thrive in this life. For life is all about relationship. The first, the most central and the most essential one of all is the relationship with God.
Friday, April 4, 2008
It makes me glad to see Gabby making new friends at the places we go to. I remember she used to be very shy and is not used to expressing herself to other people. There were times when she covered her face with her hands or hid herself behind me when somebody would try to start a conversation with her or just tried greeting her with a "hi" or "hello". She has grown since then and developed her social skills. Now she loves interacting with other kids and has a ready smile on her face. She can also communicate well with older people.
Here is a picture of her and a friend she met at Taal Vista Hotel in Tagaytay. Isabella has a German father and a Filipina mom. The family resides in Germany and is here for a summer vacation. Gabby and Isabella spent at least 45 minutes talking and playing at the Hotels huge lawn overlooking the Taal Volcano.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Gabby loves playing with her dough. It comes in different colors, texture and consistency, shapes, sizes, scents. I allow her to play with them for a longer period of time rather than play with her dolls and toy kitchen set. Brain stimulating activities allow children to explore their creative skills. With clay or dough, they use their imagination to create and form something out of it, like a flower, an animal, a structure, etc. Instead of watching too much TV, I encourage her to play more with educational toys and activities such as this.
Character formation and development a.k.a. discipline should start at a young age. A solid foundation for sound and complete spiritual, mental, physical and emotional aspects make up the character in a child. Just like sowing and reaping, right? If you are a screamer, you raise a screamer. If you are violent, you raise a violent child. If you feed them too much TV, you raise a dull child. There have been studies showing the adverse effect of too much TV viewing time on children. It makes a child dull and lazy therefore are less expressive yet too emotional! Uh-oh. This is not good. Imagine your child 20 years from now, totally pissed off or was hurt by someone, he wanted to shout and confront that person. However, since he is not used to expressing himself well, kept it to himself. Then ended up throwing things around, or letting the heat off drinking at a bar, or loosing control by spending all his money on a shopping spree, or worst is to hit or punch that person right on the face. Worst, he resorts to drugs.
TV distorts their sense of reality. Therefore I have opted to schedule and shorten her TV/DVD viewing time to at least an hour a day even if it also means no TV for me. I choose the right program and/or movie for her and watch it together. Remember, kids are like a sponge. They absorb everything and anything they see and hear. They imitate us, their parents, for we are the most influential people in our child's life. Indeed, we have a vital responsibility and duty on our shoulders in raising intelligent and emotionally complete children who will be contributing members of our society in the future. Let's be Smart Parents, start now!