Monday, April 14, 2008

Spanking Your Child

In one of the Empowerment Seminars I attended to, it was clearly explained and discussed how parenting can either make or break a child. Parents have a great responsibility upon their shoulders in raising a healthy, smart and emotionally complete child. Parenting is all about our child and has nothing to do with us, parents. It is not for our advantage, its for our child’s life. Therefore, we have to roll up our sleeves as parenting is work!

Spanking is one of the effective ways to discipline a child (from 0-Teens).  I tried to glean as much as I could during the discussion as I know that a lot of heated up discussions and debates steam up from this topic. A lot of parents do not believe that spanking is an effective tool to discipline a child. Some say that it can cause trauma in a child. Well, it could…if it is used in a wrong way.  Spanking is a TOOL, not a weapon. It does not equal to punching, pinching, hitting, slapping, kicking, pushing or pulling. Beating a child is not the same as spanking a child.  The former is an act of violence specially when parental heat is added to it.  It is this kind of spanking that ruins the effectivity of right spanking. No matter how you feel, ie bitter, lonely, upset, holding a grudge, heartbroken, you must drop it! Don't make spanking an outlet. Remember, parenting is not about you, it’s about the life of your child. 

A child must know ahead of time what warrants spanking, what warrants bad behavior. The parent must be very clear in laying down the rules and consequences on the table if and when such rules are violated. Focus on the wrong behavior at hand, never attack the person i.e. "That behavior is not acceptable." or I don't like that behavior." This way, a child will know that it is not personal.  Administer spanking right away. Your child needs to feel the “sting” of spanking. Only hit your child on those two fleshy mounds (buttocks) and not just anywhere else. After administering, talk to your child to explain how such wrong behavior affects him i.e. how lying affects his heart. Then readily forgive and tell your child how much you love him.  Finally, spanking should never be followed by isolation. Your child should be brought back to whatever he was doing prior to spanking i.e. reading a book, playing with blocks, etc.

As I've said, spanking is just one of the many ways to discipline a child. Other effective tools are through education, timeout, expressing disapproval, ignoring, etc. Let's be smart, discerning parents. Use what is best for our child! 

Prov 14:24: "He who spares his rod [of discipline] hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently and punishes him early." (Amp)

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